Today the girl I love had a seizure, and yes, I said love. I'll start by explaining, about one month ago, I started taking a drug called concerta, 54mg, and two weeks ago I experienced my first emotion. It was something akin to affection, directed towards the person I had the most respect for. This person was strong despite the hardships in her short life. I had this respect long before the emotions, long before any attachment was felt, and it confused me.
At first I didn't like it, but as time progressed I could not help but fall entirely in love, despite my intelligent psyche screaming it's figurative head off at my emotional foolishness. She now occupies my every thought, dream and feeling, and there's nothing I can, nor wish to do about it.
I experienced almost the entire frame of emotions within a week, something that troubles me to no end. I experienced jealousy at it's worst, same going for happiness, depression and anger.
but I don't regret it for one second.
I would be happy just holding her for the rest of my life, however short my life may become.
I have done extensive studies in bio-chemical science and come to the conclusion that my emotions are not hormonal in any way, and that pleases me to no end.
All-in-all, I was worried as can be, to day when she had a seizure in my room while playing a 1st person shooter, widely known simply as CS.
It resolved itself for the moment, and she is at physical health, the exception of course, being a bad back and various other physiological problems.
I have no control over my emotions concerning this girl, and I would willingly take a bullet in the chest for her and her son.
I am now blogging to ventilate my emotional steam, making this blog the precipice of irony.
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