Yet another dreary day has begun, and I fear that a few more awaits me before I can feel the joy I have grown dependent of.
Today I followed my usual behavior like a automaton, thereby giving the appearance of normality.
I was not entirely successful, as I spent a majority of my time barricaded in my room, engrossing myself in a digital game for fear of drowning myself in thoughts of her. Do not mistake my obsession as unhealthy, it is the focus of my being simply because it is what I deem to be the single most important period and event in my relatively short existence.
I have found my world-view changed since my emotions gained control, something I regret for the reason that it has given me a will to live, but no logical reason to live, adding another conflict to my internal torment that concerns naught but my emotional difficulties.
I find myself feeling an increasing amount of worry over the problems she face, and admiration of her strength.
I have absolute conviction that she will survive the storms that convene upon her. I believe in her.
I have lost confidence since I have come to realize how utterly helpless I am to help her.
I have nothing to offer her, I am unworthy.
The need to help her is greater than the resources I posses.
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