I am simply typing because I have nothing else to do. The atmosphere in the house in which I sit, is playful.
This joy does not affect me as it would if my beloved was here, life just seems dull when she no longer inhabits the areas I occupy.
My emotions reign over my intellect. I have no control over my near-newborn emotions, this gives me a borderline stalker personality.
It's an obsession, grown from the seeds of love.
My love for her only grows greater and greater each day that passes.
This simply drives me to the thougth that I will someday have to let my intellect control my actions and abandon her, for if I do not, I will most likely make her existence miserable with my unwillingness to interact with the society as an adult.
I could never be a financial provider, or even a contributor. I am not decisive, my leader qualities have almost entirely dissipated, and I am now a mere shadow of my former manipulative self.
She is too good for me, she has so much to offer, and I have so little...
My day of death might be unjust in the eyes of the society, but I have kept it no secret that I have no wish to live beyond her.
My life would have ended sooner if it wasn't for her, but I have no delusions about mine being a life that will bring me or any other soul, joy.
I have a few years at the most, but those years will be devoted to her, this I vow...
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