I find myself without emotions again, though I still feel the love and need for her.
Since she rejected my presence in her room at night, I have not slept well, and my neutrality towards all others have re-emerged. I see now more than ever, that she has no need for me since I have not received any sort of token of love from her. All I require is a simple hug or a kiss to be happy.
I feel my suicide might be drawing ever closer, she is, quite literally, all I live for.
She has told me that she pushes those that come close to her away, but I somehow hoped that her love for me would overcome that. She might not feel anything for me, as she rarely asks for hugs or kisses.
I would like to spend the rest of my life with her, but that would probably only make her miserable.
I still wish she would just say it.
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