Plans Pass Me By...

I have not much of my former self left, but what I have, I must use. The few remaining qualities I have are my analyzing capabilities that now cross over to extremes. I analyze every word she speaks and writes, every action she takes, every reaction she makes. I find her to be in category all on it's own.
I have to consciously abandon my behavior and my way of living and computing.
I can no longer treat others as I wish to be treated. I do not want her to be friends with past lovers, boyfriends or those who have an affection that goes beyond platonic towards her.
Therefore I have always thought this way, I have cut of my ties with all my former... infatuations and devoted myself to her. This was not difficult as I never had any need for them.
I will remain unhappy every opportunity she takes to meet any of them. I know, from my continuous observation of mankind and society, that the majority in this culture does not think as she does. In most cases this is a positive thing, but she does not see this. She seems certain that just because she can return to the platonic stage, there are near to no males in this culture with this ability. I, of course, am no exception.
Once she goes weary of me, I will leave her to whatever life she will lead.
But I am one of the few males in this culture that can come to that level of reasoning.
Her collection of males in love with her are living proof.
But she remains convinced, it would seem, that they are capable of returning to the platonic.
I do not enjoy this. But, I must remain in the shadows on this topic, as I have taken a vow not to interfere too much in other peoples lives consciously.
I will not manipulate her, despite the ease with which I could do it at this point.
To do so would be going against all that I am, and all that I stand for.
I can not stop my analyzing every opportunity of manipulation that arises, but in doing so I gain the ability to consciously allow them to pass unused.
I simply love her too much, she is, in many ways, a large part of me. Without her I would not be complete.
I love her with my entire being.