Love...

They say that your first love is the strongest, most intense love you will ever experience.
If that remains true, logic would point to the conclusion that she will never meet anyone that would love her as much as I do. She is my first love, and I am one of the few at my age that have not yet had it before.
Unless she meets a twelve-year-old later on, I will be the last to love her, romantically, to such an extent.
I know the difference between a simple infatuation and true love, and I know what I feel for her is the latter.
I can only hope my love is good enough for her... That I am good enough her.
After our disagreement I thought she would accept me if I rid myself of my jealousy, no matter how logical it was, but she shows no joy over this event.
I know that my jealousy was not unreasonable, but that does not make it good. I was wrong. I even temporarily deactivated my logical engine, as to gain access to my emotional switches.
I feel no jealousy towards him, and I have learned to trust her to the fullest extent. I have, nonetheless, a obsession with the action she was to take that would have resolved my jealousy in an easier fashion.
She told me she was going to tell him of our relationship, but instead of refusing my request, she accepted it. But, instead of fulfilling the deed, she disregarded my wish, and her word, and did not make any attempt to do as was said.
This fact started my doubt of her, and my loss of trust in her.
I am not in any way angered or hurt by this any longer. I simply know that, by her fulfilling her word, I will have absolute trust in her, as well as an absolute conviction that she holds true feelings for me.
It is no longer a matter of jealousy, but a matter of symbolism.
If I am to trust her, I want it not to be forced, but to be deserved.
This is the only thing I will ask of her.

I only hope I did not spend four months carrying nothing but false hope for our relationship...
If she truly cares for me, she will grant me this last request. I love her above all else, always will...