Misunderstanding...

I find that my jealousy was not shut off as I suspected.
It is not exaggerated, this I know. It has to be triggered by certain things, like the engagement ring, his public statements of love for her. It is not an unreasonable jealousy, it is simply normal for a relationship. Thereby, it is not normal, as we do not have anything akin to a relationship. I find it hard to understand how she so easily gave up all love for me over such a trivial matter. It is trivial to comparison to other disagreements, at least.
I find it harder and harder to trust her, as I can see that she keeps secrets that she would not keep before.
My trust in her remains strong, but for how long, I can only speculate.
She tests my jealousy, this I can see. Jealousy, I have learned, is not an emotion to be trifled with, as it can grow to a big problem, given enough challenges. This remains true for all people, not just me.
I have found that I am not overly jealous, as I tend to base my jealousy on logic, not on suspicion.
She has negated to inform me of the status of our relationship, and it is making me near-suicidal.
I find myself gaining sympathy for him,as well as understanding for his situation and life. This does not help the fact that he is being misled. He is gaining more and more hope for a rejuvenation of their relationship, and she still contains no wish whatsoever to reveal the events that have transpired between myself and her.
I pity him.
Yet, I can see that she has not released their relationship fully. I believe she still bears the engagement ring given to her by him.
I wish she would want me, but she shows no signs of love for me.
I have, within my codex of honor, a set of rules I have lived by. This is my compensation for a lifetime of lacking any emotions, and thereby, morals.
I just wished she cared about me enough to do the things I need to ease my mind and heart from any jealousy.
The only thing I requested was that she would tell him about us, not a substantial task, but she does not seem to have any inclination towards granting my request.
I do not ask her to abandon him completely, only romantically.
I need help, would it be too much to ask, if I asked her to remove the ring?
Logically, no. From her perspective? Probably.
We had been in some sort of relationship for four months, and I almost thought she had grown to love me, as she had stated this fact on two separate occasions. I was wrong, it seems. If it was so, she would have respected my wish, and it would be harder to break the bond between us for her.
Half my time, nowadays goes to thinking of the easiest way to commit suicide, and I do not want help.
I simply want either her salvation or damnation.
I love her, and I do not want to live without her.