Wall...

Yesterday I spent half the night reconstructing my mind, I shut off logical mass-control, and gave more attention to the verbal exclamations of my love.
I no longer doubt her words, but I doubt the wisdom of my choice.
I know the information gained, but do not utilize it in my speculations and defenses.
I am so madly in love with her, and my love grows and grows for everyday that passes, but my fear of our romantic separation follows suit.
I know that she does not fell for me what I feel for her, she will never hold that intensity for me.
Too much of her love is focused on her ex, and my fears are within an inch of overcoming my unwillingness to read her journal.
I know that I will hurt from reading it, but I must know how she feels and thinks about everything.
I try to treat her the way I would have her treat me, but she does not do as I want.
I give her all the love I dare to, but she has been less and less responsive since she met him again.
She has said to me on multiple occasions that she will be glad to be rid of him, but I know that this is a lie, she holds feelings for him still, adn they are stronger than those she holds for me.
I know that she regrets not being with him, and I have told her that I would accept it if she did, but she denies it, she lies.
I begged her to tell him of our relationship, and she said she would, but she lied, she said no opportunity arose, she lied.
I know she lies when it comes to him.
And I will not accept our relationship until she is ready to have it. I was a rebound. She was hurt, and I was there, and her feelings for me seem only have to subsided.
I wish that she will love me like I love her, but I know that it will never be so.
I trust her... for now.