I have a lot of emotional problems right now, there is one that bothers me more than any other... I have been in a lack of courage to write, say or ask about it, as it scares me beyond belief. It's the tought of losing someone close to me. Again.
I am writing about it today, because someone else, more concerned, wrote about it. It gives me some courage.
The fucking c-word. It has affected someone I love more than life itself.
It is the greatest cause of my depression the latest few weeks. It frustrates me to no end to have something like that happen and not be allowed to be there to help in anyway. I fear I take out my irritation where it does certainly not belong. I just want to help, and see that I can be of help. Instead of sitting here day in and day out feeling worthless. Mixed with my strong feelings of jealousy and disappointment, this can be dangerous. I may end up causing more damage than I can repair.
I am lost as to what I should do, what I can do. I feel like I am in the way, constantly ruining the life of the concerned... Love is incredibly annoying at times, but that one kiss can make it all worth it.
You're perfect, wonderful and pure divine. I love you.
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