Lonely...

For the first time ever, I feel that I am all alone in the world. The one person I thought I could talk to about at least some of my problems, abandoned me. I needed her, and she completely disregarded it.
I have finally found her pattern. I am only of interest to her when she doesn't have more interesting friends around her. She seems unwilling to waste any energy on rekindling our relationship. She still hasn't given me an answer. She is the one person on earth that can make me feel like a drooling idiot. She is more important to me than any friend. This is the way a relationship should work. She values any one of her friends more than me. How does she expect me to remain stable when she only gives me the stick, completely leaving out the carrot. I am unmotivated to let her see who I am anymore, as she continues to block me out of her life.
I am deserving of her love, this, I know. The problem lies with her, not with me. I am willing to give myself to her completely, this, I have made clear. She betrayed my trust yesterday, and I can't seem to find a reason to forgive her. There is none. She is not the girl I fell in love with. I barely get a shred of the affection I so crave from her. Why am I still waiting for her answer? Why have I not moved on? I'll tell you why: I. Fucking. Love. Her.
I have given her my heart and my life. What becomes of me is her choice.
I need her to be more mature. I need her to realize who I am. I know that I can be the perfect guy for her, if she would just give me the chance.
Stop torturing me. Let me down or let me in. I love you...